Dude Patrol 7/19/16

About 10 days later I had lunch with another OurTime guy - I was nervous again and not expecting to meet Prince Charming  - I didn't.  He did most of the talking, didn't seem all that interested in anything I had to say and proceeded to tell me how he could eat for $2.76/week by boiling a chicken and making chicken noodle soup to eat everyday.  Eating the same thing everyday didn't bother me - I  do that
, but I didn't like his fixation on skimping including what seemed like some shady activities.

So I switched to eharmony.com and had some very interesting online conversations over the course of 2 weeks - I really liked this guy - he loved animals which is a huge plus for me and we just seemed to click.  Next step: telephone conversations which went well also.  He told me he was staying temporarily with his daughter until he got situated  (he  had just moved from Texas)   and we continued to talk regularly - next step - we set up a lunch date.  He would call to confirm the time.  I never heard from him, so I called his number and it had been disconnected!  Maybe the daughter pulled the plug, I don't know!

Another date with a guy who greeted me using a walker - that sealed the deal for me - he seemed OLD!

I should tell you that I only wanted to go out with men who were older than I - I did not have the self-confidence to date younger men.

Next up: a guy who drove 2 hours to have lunch with me.  We had an interesting time - agreed to meet for lunch again and in the process of that lunch I discovered that he had flat out lied to me - he was actually 81 NOT 72 and he seemed to think it was funny.  Good bye.

I Don't Have a Title!

So today the wheels have started in motion for the upcoming knee replacement surgery. Do not want to think about that for now.  So back to online dating.  I'm thinking I'd like to get into the fray again and am reminded of all that goes with it.  A few things I was told before I signed on:

1. Don't misrepresent myself.  This includes using a photo of reasonable likeness.

2, Meet in a public place.  Other common sense stuff like this.

3.  Be aggressive. Meaning if I'm going to do this don't dabble - respond to flirts, as many as possible.  I was told it's  a numbers game and it takes a lot of online conversations  and coffee dates to find one guy you'd like to go out with again.

Over a couple of months I joined 3 dating sites : eharmony.com., match.com and ourtime.com.
I put my initial efforts into ourtime.com because it's specifically for seniors and I figured no one would be disappointed with (at the time)  a 69 year old face and body.  My very first coffee date was preceded by 2 days of nerves, trying to find THE most flattering outfit and worrying about how old, flabby and wrinkled I looked.  Big fear of rejection and I've always had self image conflicting issues.

Anyway, I showed up, knew within 5 minutes this was not a match made in heaven and stayed for another 45 minutes listening to his life story including divorces and business failures.  He didn't contact me again and that was fine with me.  

I'M BACK

I wrote my first (and only) blog entry three years ago and little did I know the drama that lay ahead.  I was in the beginning of a very intense relationship with a 79 year old man - first serious romance  since my husband died 25 years ago.  And things were very different - and,  I wanted to talk about them because I had a feeling that many of the issues I experienced had to be shared by other women. Body issues, medical/health stuff,  finances, children, grandchildren, pets, society's view of senior dating in general and sexuality in particular,  plus anecdotes/observations about some of the toads, I mean men, I met on first and last coffee dates.

And then this relationship took off very quickly and I became consumed in the moment.  No time for blogs, plus it seemed like an invasion of his privacy.  Then he got sick, then two stokes,  then he died.  I was devastated; we were together for 15 months, 10 of which he was sick, 8 of which he was very sick.

So I am back where I started - sort of - went out with a fellow last summer but I broke it off - no fire and haven't been online since.  Am now thinking about it again and hence back to the blog.  But not sure of direction - seems like there are more things to ponder  as a 73 year old woman in addition to senior dating.   But this also feels more like a diary and why would anyone be interested.  I don't read other blogs so I'm not sure what they are supposed to be.  Maybe just writing will lead to insight.  Am trying to remember my granddaughter's advice: "keep it honest" - and that's tough - there is a tendency to try to entertain which subverts the whole thing.   So in the interest of not overthinking I'm just going to dive in.

There are 2 things on my mind today: upcoming knee  replacement surgery and whether I should go back on match.com. I've had one knee done so I know what's ahead and would love to bail but since one leg is shorter than the other I can't continue to walk around like a duck.  Plus I'm hopeful lower back pain will be improved once the skeleton is in better alignment.  But, I worry about strokes, not waking up, etc and think why upset the apple cart.

My sister is encouraging me to get back into online dating.  She's 8 years younger than I am, skinny, happily married and well put together - easy for her to say.  Online dating is plain hard work, and it makes me nervous overtime I agree to go on a coffee date - I'm always convinced the guy will think I'm a loser.  I am 73, have arthritis, a stomach, wrinkles, skin going south and more.  But  I did meet one really great guy and maybe it could happen again.

And So It Begins...

Hi Girls!
This is my first post talking about the world of online senior dating. This whole process has been surprising, bewildering, frustrating, and infuriating, but overall one of the best things I have ever done. I'm going to begin at the beginning, and hopefully some of this information will be not only entertaining, but helpful! Let me be candid: online dating is not for the faint of heart, but it can also be a lot of fun!  So, if you have ever considered online dating, stick with me and I'll give you all the juicy details!